A
Royals on the first page, swine flu and road rage

Find Maddie, foreign baddie, put him in a big cage
D
Bureaucratic red tape, Facebook gang rape
A
Gordon out, Dave in, before the country caves in
E                     D                        A
Ian Huntley gets his own Jacuzzi and a gym in jail
     E                         D                    A
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail

[Verse 2]
A
Bring back capital punishment for pedophiles

Photo feature on schoolgirl skirt styles
D
Binge Britain, single mums, pensioners, hoodie scum
A
Oversexed and underaged, foreign stories half a page
E                              D                          A
Criminals get Marks & Spencer vouchers when released on bail
     E                         D                    A
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail

[Verse 3]
A
Ban this gay smut, I'm not racist but

Car crime, knife crime, hang-the-cheating-wife time
D
Pop stars take drugs, teen boys wear hoods
A
Sports stars have sex, bears shit in woods
E                     D                               A
Brussels politicians want to stop us drinking English ale
     E                         D                    A
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail

[Verse 4]
A
Climategate, petrol prices, potholes, credit crisis

Gypsies, Russell Brand, time we all took a stand
D
Modern art, where to start? Trash the lot of it
A
Apart from statuette of puppy, 50 quid plus P&P
E                          D                   A
Muslim women hiding stolen goods behind their veil
     E                         D                    A
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail

[Verse 5]
A
Poles paid to give blood, immigration like a flood

Soft touch British Isles, cancer from your mobiles
D
Cancer from your laptop, cancer from your root crop
E                          A
Cancer from your shoes, from your dog, from your pen top
E                         D             F#m
Immigrants arriving on an unprecedented scale
     E                         D                    A
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail
     E                         D                    A
They never mince their words in the good ol' Daily Mail
     E                             D                                A
It's absolutely true Because I gather all my views From the Daily Mail